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Online Dating: There’s Nothing Serendipitous About This.

26 Oct

“On the Internet, I had an actual catalog of available women, listed with their quirks, characteristics, and measurements. Finding someone better was no longer innocent curiosity; it was easy — and it became an obsession.”

I recently read an article, “Confessions: Addicted to Internet Dating” written by a gentleman who I believe represents a great portion of the male online-dating species.  A tale that hits close to home for many of us ladies, spending our nights scrolling through endless profiles, scrunching our noses at the horrific messages we receive, checking out who checked us out and then waiting to see if they check us out after they notice we checked them out, agonizing over how to casually drop a line to that nice guy whose profile finally caught our eye, smiling when they send us a message back, spending days planning what we should wear when we meet up with mr. possibly right, smiling for days after when things go well, telling our friends how we just didn’t believe we could meet someone sweet like this online, realizing months in that he’s still hunting for other girls online … wait… what?

When did dating evolve into this impersonal, interview process?  When did it become the norm to date 5 people at once, comparing and deciding who might be the lucky winner?

I miss the days where, by chance, we met someone, we got excited about them and then we stopped looking around because we just didn’t really need to anymore. Where you would catch eyes with someone and get that flutter in your chest.  Exchange a sheepish smile or two. I miss having a guy walk up to me and (yes, in person!) ask me for my number.  And I miss going home and waiting anxiously for that phone call. My heart pounding when the phone finally rings and then clearing my throat and giving the cutest most casual “hello” that I can muster up.  I miss hearing that persons voice for the first time over the phone, and then getting to know that voice so well that it becomes a familiar, comforting sound.  I miss getting to know that person through the things that they share with me and the times that we share together .. instead of Google, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

I miss a world where we didn’t have to check 6 different portals of online communication to get in touch with our new found love interests.  Where we didn’t have access to everything that everyone is doing at every moment of every day. To every photo of every other girl they had ever dated before us or the meal that they ate at that new restaurant last weekend.

We can’t help but jump to our own conclusions.  Sure, we have access to so much more information on each other than ever before, and to an endless online catalog of prospective mates, but is that really a good thing?  Are we really even these people that we play on the internet?  How can we give someone the benefit of the doubt when we have all these cold hard facts and photos at our fingertips?

People always say, “You’ll meet the right one when you least expect it”.  Serendipity: Finding something good without looking for it.

But isn’t that the opposite of what we’re doing here?  Logging on and putting in long hard hours, scrolling and reading and comparing?  Then googling, investigating, wondering and assuming?

Somehow we’ve turned searching for a mate into a part-time desk job. (Or perhaps on the road, for you savvy mobile internet daters)  We fill out our dating profile resumes and hope to make it to the second interview. Or perhaps we’re the ones doing the interviewing.  Asking the same questions, comparing the answers. Doing our online research on our candidates.

How romantic.

We live in a digital world, and I have an appreciation for social media and technology, but I can’t help but miss the personal aspect of the “meet cute”. Of meeting people generically.  And I can’t help but wonder  – when it comes to the world of dating; Was ignorance, in fact, bliss?

~Sarah

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14 Random Acts of Love

14 Feb

“No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop

Another Valentine’s Day. I spent several hours this year trying to decide how to feel about this day. The pessimist in me wanted to scoff at the silly, man-made, consumerist “holiday”. The single-girl in me wanted to stock up on red wine and half-priced heart-shaped chocolate and hide from the cute world for a day.

And then the optimist in me finally broke through and thought, what if Valentines day was simply a day for expressing and spreading love? Not just the kind of love between a “couple.” Love for people, Love for the earth, Love for myself.. What if I were to use this day to take all the love that I’ve got and just throw it out into the universe in as many ways as I can think of?

I recently read and shared an article called “The Birthday Project – 38 Random Acts of Kindness” – an inspiring story by Robyn Bomar who decided to spend her 38th birthday completing 38 Random Acts of Kindness with the help of her husband and children. I loved this idea so much, I decided this was exactly how I’d spend my February 14th – completing 14 Random Acts of Love

So here it is!

14 Random Acts of Love

1) I mailed Valentine cards with hand written letters to my far away friends. Because I love them. And they should know it.

2) I taped a Valentine card to my good friends door before heading to work. Because I love him too. And he should know it.

2) I wrote a handful of simple Valentine notes like this one:

Covered them in ziplock bags (since it was rainy this morning) :

And then stuck them on random windshields. Like this one:

**Did you get one of my notes?? I hope it made you smile 🙂 **

3) I smiled and said good-morning to each and every person I saw on my way to my bus-stop. And received a ton of smiles and cheerful good-mornings in return.

4) I baked cupcakes. I baked a LOT of cupcakes. And I walked around my entire office, hand delivering a cupcake and a valentine to each of my co-workers. Because they are awesome too.

5) I made a donation to the BC Cancer Foundation, in loving memory of a beautiful person who lost her battle with cancer recently.

6) I wrote thank you notes to my next door neighbors on each side, thanking them for being such great neighbors and slipped them under their doors with Starbucks cards.

7) I made a list of 10 things that I am thankful for and took a minute to smile and meditate on each one.

8) I cut 5 minutes off my regular shower time (yes, I set a timer). I unplugged any power cords, chargers, etc and turned the heat down before I left for work. Saving energy = Lovin the Earth.

9) I cleaned out my closet and donated a large bag of clothing, books and other items to a local charity.

10) I gave my seat to a lady on the bus who had just a little more to carry than I did.

11) I ordered a coffee, got the last stamp (for a free coffee) on my card and handed it to the girl behind me in line. She looked shocked at first and then gave me an enormous smile and a quiet thank you. That felt pretty awesome.

12) I sent “Happy Valentine’s Day xo” texts to my parents.

13) Paid genuine compliments to a few friends, co-workers and even a few strangers. This one was surprisingly easy. Who doesn’t like hearing something nice about themselves? Never hold back a compliment. I wont anymore.

14) I let a gentleman go ahead of me in line at the grocery store whose arms seemed uncomfortably full of items. He was so much more appreciative than I had expected. It was pretty awesome

And that was my day!  I was so thrilled with all of the smiles and fantastic reactions I received from everyone I encountered today, and surprised myself a little when I realized how easy it is to incorporate these small, kind gestures into a regular day.  This may have been have been my favorite February 14th so far.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Sarah x

Product Review – Bubblegum Lip Scrub by Lush

8 May

Lush makes an amazing, tasty bubblegum flavored lip scrub. (Okay fine, it’s just bubblegum flavored sugar)  Lick those lips, rub on the scrub – then lick it off!  Voila! Soft, smooth lips.

Brown sugar would work just as well, but it definitely won’t taste this good!

Don’t forget to protect your pout afterwards with a good lip balm with SPF. I recommend Sephora’s “Most Complete Lip Balm”

Product Review: Loreal Brass Banisher

20 Jul

I recently made a rather spontaneous decision to get some blonde highlights.  (If you know me, you know that these spontaneous hair colorings are not uncommon) 

It’s summer, I’ve got a decent tan, my hair is light brown …  “Summer-time Sarah!”   What could go wrong… right?

Now some of you may also remember, that over the winter my hair was a pretty vibrant red.  So, my beautiful beach blonde highlights?  Turned out a little more like strawberry blonde with a side of brass. 

While browsing the hair color aisle today I noticed a box of “Loreal Brass Banisher”.    *Gasp!*  A new product!  Clearly I had to try it.

The result?  Brassy blonde no more!  It significantly reduced the yellowish tone, and left my highlights looking much more even. 

It smells nice, takes just 5 minutes to process and left my hair super silky. (Not to mention saved me another pricey trip back to the salon)

In short, I give “Loreal Brass Banisher” two happy thumbs up!

Homemade Facial Scrub How-to

18 May

It’s time to scrub away that dry dull winter skin and get ready for the summer sun with this super easy homemade face scrub!

Made with simple, natural ingredients (that most of us already have at home) this scrub has quickly become a staple in my skin care regime!

Oatmeal and aloe are fabulous skin-calming ingredients, brown sugar a gentle scrubber and skin softener, and the lemon juice works as an astringent.

Whip one up today!

Oatmeal and Brown Sugar Face Scrub

You will need:

2 tbsp ground oatmeal

2 tbsp aloe (I go straight to the source and chop off a limb from my aloe plant!)

2 tbsp brown sugar

1/2 tsp lemon juice

Mix all of the ingredients really well in a small bowl, give it a sniff (yum!) and apply to your face in a gentle circular motion.  Let it sit on the skin for about 10 minutes to do it’s thing!

Rinse it all off and Ta-Daa!  Super soft, happy skin.

Enjoy!

Remembering Kevyn Aucoin

7 May

“Today I see beauty everywhere I go, in every face I see, in every single soul.”

~ Kevyn Aucoin.  Feb 14th, 1962  –  May 7th, 2002

The first time I opened up my brand new copy of “Making Faces” by celebrity make-up artist Kevyn Aucoin, my heart raced.

The colors, the textures, the transformations –  such beauty! This man was brilliant.  And I thought to myself, “This is it.  I want to do THIS.”

Even now, 6 years after completing makeup school,  I’ll open up “Making Faces” or “Face Forward” seeking (and finding) inspiration.

A few celebrity transformations that truly amaze me:

Martha Stewart as Veronica Lake

Lisa-Marie Presley as Marilyn Monroe

Winona Ryder as Elizabeth Taylor

Christina Ricci "Youth Eternal"

And perhaps the most incredible of all:

Gwyneth Paltrow as James Dean!!

The photos speak for themselves.

Kevyn Aucoins life was cut short too soon on May 7th, 2002 from liver and kidney failure – but his amazing talent will always be remembered.

Spring Makeup Trends I’m Loving

26 Apr

Spring is Nature’s way of saying “Let’s Party!!” ~ Robin Williams

Forget pastels.  This Spring is all about COLOR. 

The glossier the better!

 Brightly colored glossy lips are making an appearance.  Deep fuschias, baby pinks and corals.  (Be sure to pair it will a more natural eye and cheek) Expect to see this trend carry through the summer!

Violet is also making a big comeback, on lips and even cheeks this season!   (Again, keep the eye neutral when you’re going with a bolder lip/cheek)  “Violet cheeks?!”  you say.   I know I know – but check it out! 

Stick with a more pink- violet, rather than purple and the results are gorgeous!

And of course, when I think of Spring make up, I think pretty, rosy cheeks.   The key here is to place the blush right on the apples of the cheeks.  Pinks, peaches, even violet as we’ve seen, give cheeks a beautiful healthy flush:

 

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